Who We Allow In

I think a lot about who I let into my life.

I think as Christians, we are taught to be open and welcoming and accepting of people’s faults.  We try to see the good in them.

But what about when that doesn’t work?  What about when people are corrosive and abusive?

I’ve never been good at protecting myself from those influences.  I’ve never felt like I deserved to say that I am worth more than that.  That my being and my soul deserved protection from forces looking to turn me away from myself.

But then I did.

It wasn’t myself I was protecting.  I was protecting my family.  I was saying I want more for them.  And I was admitting that we had vulnerabilities that would allow those negative forces to seep in.

And now, partially removed from that decision, I see the moral imperative in it.  I now understand that we are not made of steel.  That we have vulnerabilities and that darkness will try to infiltrate through those vulnerabilities.  And to keep putting ourselves in situations or relationships that exaggerate that vulnerability isn’t being responsible to ourselves or those we most care about.

I’m not advocating the dismissal of all difficult relationships.  I’m most surely not saying that people aren’t worth fighting for.  We need to see the good in people and allow them grace and show them mercy.  We must be Christ in the world for people.

But sometimes we also have to know our limitations.  And we have to hold people responsible.  Sometimes staying in a relationship is merely enabling poor behavior for the sake of something that isn’t really benefiting anyone in the first place.

So hold your loved ones close.  Fight for them with everything you have.  Grant them the mercy you hope God will grant you.  But also remember that your soul and those of the ones closest to you are your number one priority.

And sometimes you just have to learn that the most loving thing you can do is walk away.