Never Could I Have Dreamt You Up

You know when you were a kid and you ran so fast down a hill that you felt like you could fly? When the giddiness overtook you and you were transported to a happiness that is slightly more than this world could usually provide? A joy that got stuck in your throats and caused you to laugh without abandon or self-consciousness?

That’s how I feel when I sit back and watch my girls. I get caught up in all that is them and I feel a joy that normally eludes me. A joy that feels beyond this world.

All those years we were trying to have a baby I would try to imagine what it would be like to watch my children.

But never could I have dreamt them up.

Never would I have understood just how much they would be. How much glitter and twirls and tulle and stickers and music and words and love and tears and deep laughter coming from somewhere deep inside.

I tried. I would close my eyes and daydream. I would pray.

But these four… they are so much more than I ever, ever could have imagined. More than I ever could have dreamt up. More than I ever would have dared to pray for.