Sometimes my head spins with complexity.
I over think everything.
I think of every possible thing that could go wrong.
I evaluate my every move to judge whether or not I am doing a good enough job.
And then I wonder where my peace has gone.
One thing about having kids is that it brings me face to face, every day, with the complexities I have interwoven into my life.
I used to really thrive on drama and passion and overpacked days. If I didn’t have fifteen places to be and twenty things to do in any given day, I would feel off. I would get bored. And my mind would wander, and when my mind would wander, it would invariably lead to anxiety.
I still get anxious. A lot. More so than probably most really anxious people. I’m a pro at it. But one thing that I am quite proud to say is that I am no longer afraid to be by myself. I’m no longer afraid to let my mind wander. I’m no longer afraid of free time and open space. And as such, I have started craving it.
I want long lazy days with the girls where we can curl up on the couch and read books. I want to take a break from planning and replanning and overplanning and just enjoy this brief and sweet season. I want to take a break from the commotion of the world.
In short, I want to live more simply.
We have a lot going on in the next few months, and busy schedules don’t lend themselves to simplicity. But perhaps that is why I need to fight for it even more.
I want to refuse to give in to the chaos of the world and focus only on what matters. Only on what is eternal.
I want to live more and do less.
How about you?
