Election Despodancy

I don’t write about politics on here.  I think I might have written about something political once or twice.

I don’t really know why.  I guess part of me is afraid of sharing my views – afraid that people will reject them.  And I think it’s fairly certain that people will disagree with them because a) I am very passionate about them, b) I align with no particular political party, c) I’m very passionate about them.  Did I mention that already 😉

Eight years ago (and even moreso 12 years ago) I had a very clear idea of who I thought should run this country.  There was no ambiguity.  There were no questions.  There was no deliberation.  It was extremely clear.  I did not agree with the candidates on all issues, but to me, the better option was obvious.

But here’s the problem.

If you stay caught up on politics and if you believe that it really does matter and if you also believe in listening to both sides and weighing them carefully, then black and white starts to fade into grey.

We change.  We grow up; we evolve; we become, hopefully, more tolerant of ambiguity.  We look at other people’s opinions and consider their perspectives, and ultimately, some of what we believe will start to look different.

And that kind of sucks sometimes.

I remember sitting in a bookstore post 9/11 and reading a book of people’s quotes who agreed with me.  They were all so certain of the other side’s belief in their moral superiority.  I was certain in the other side’s belief in their moral superiority.  That’s all I ever heard – you are wrong and we are right.

And that pissed me off because in politics, there is no all right or all wrong when it comes to candidates.

But I remember being jealous of those on the other side.  I wanted their absolute conviction.  I was fairly convicted myself, but not on the level they were.  My convictions were intellectual.  They were emotional and moral as well, of course, and I still believe most of those positions are the moral choice.  But I didn’t have the absolute, dogmatic view that I was clearly in the right.

But now, over the past six years or so, some of my views have changed.  My views are more in line with those I believed had all the conviction.

But now I feel even more uncertainty.  Now I question even more.  And now I start to feel panicked and despondent.

What is a person to do?

In the end, I know who I won’t vote for.  And I know who I probably won’t vote for.  And which is which would probably be a toss up for anyone who knows me.

But it all makes me sad.  In a country the size of ours, with the talent and resources we have, with the intellect and passion and morality that shine forth every single day, why are we left to vote for two main candidates who almost nobody respects?

I thought I was going to share more specifics about my views of the candidates in here, but looking at it now, I don’t think I really want to.  I don’t think it’s necessary – I have nothing to say about them that hasn’t been said a thousand different ways.

I guess I’m just lamenting a world where being respectful isn’t a prerequisite for the highest office in the land.  Where character really doesn’t play a part.  Where candidates are forced to take specific stands on specific issues and we don’t really get any choices when it comes to any viewpoints that differ.

My girls aren’t allowed to watch either candidate speak.  I’m loath to think of what they might pick up from a single political speech much less a debate.

And that’s what gets me the most.  We do not have a candidate who I feel can speak for ten minutes without saying something disparaging about other people or groups of people.  I protect my children from politics just as I do from music and television with explicit messages and lyrics.

And I don’t think I’m odd in this.  I think many people feel this way.

And that’s our world.

Don’t we all deserve better?

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