Chaos and Calm

I have a tendency to fall into overwhelming spirals of chaos, and usually it starts something like this…

I will spend hours and hours cleaning my house until it finally almost meets my standards.  I will feel like the Queen of all things good.  I will have confidence in my abilities, and I will feel that I am able to steer my life in the direction I choose.  Things will be smooth sailing for a couple of days, but then life happens, and all of a sudden, beds aren’t getting made.  And then dishes pile up just a bit too long.  Then laundry falls behind.  And soon, I am back in the middle of chaos again.

But I’m starting to realize that the chaos isn’t from my environment.  The mess isn’t the chaos.  My brain is what is in chaos.  I will look around my house and see things scattered all over the place, and my brain will become just as scattered.  And it all stems from fear — fear that I can’t keep up; fear that I’m not good enough; fear that this “failure” is who I am and that any success is just mere fluke.  And then I start sending myself the worst messages which are that there is no hope.  This is how things are and how they will always be because I can’t do better.

But see that message is just a habit.  It’s a way of thinking and a way of viewing both myself and the world, and it’s a bit bogus.  After all, what is it about keeping my house in order that is beyond my grasp?  If I believe I can keep things under control, I can.  As soon as I believe I can’t, I won’t because my brain won’t allow my body to do something it doesn’t think it can do.

And so this week, I am starting out good, and I will remain good because I will remind myself that just because I might have a setback doesn’t mean I have failed.  Setbacks are natural.  They are important because they are inevitable.  But they are setbacks; they are not destiny.

And on that note, I will share a few pictures of my lovely little ladies from this stellar weekend.

Enjoy!  And try to think positively about yourself.  You deserve it!  After all, you are reading my blog, so you must be pretty smart 😉

8 thoughts on “Chaos and Calm

  1. You have such adorable little girls! I love that you write about reality. I’ve read a few blogs over the years that make me wonder what is hiding behind the blogger, if you know what I mean. How can everything really be wrapped up in that shiny red bow? None of us are perfect… heck, you should see my house sometimes. 🙂 I like to keep it clean, but it is lived in with traffic and kids and dogs. That’s just our reality and our family.

    Thanks so much for joining us at our 1st Mom’s Monday Mingle Blog Hop. It’s great to have you with us. 🙂 Following you back and looking forward to reading more of your blog.

    Jessica @ http://www.athometake2.blogspot.com

    1. Thanks so much for the follow and the kind comment. My life surely isn’t wrapped up in a red bow, but I guess it wouldn’t be nearly as interesting if it was 😉 I really look forward to reading more from your blog and getting to know you. Enjoy your Monday!

    1. Thanks for the follow! I look forward to linking up next week and reading through more of your blog. Have a blessed night 🙂

    1. Thanks for the comment. I look forward to checking out your blog. I hope to see you back here soon 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words and for checking out/commenting on my blog. Have a great evening!

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